tonight i said goodbye to my cat
earlier this evening my outdoor cat, godfather, whom my dad so affectionately named after vito corleone because his fur pattern gave him a mustache and a sort-of suit, passed away after being confined at the vet's. we first brought him in on wednesday after he had skipped his meals and became very lethargic.
his blood test was pretty bad; he had been anemic. we left him at the hospital for the vets to figure out why this was so. they needed some additional samples so that they could run some more tests, but they needed a stool sample to proceed. he was also quite dehydrated and his temperature was dropping, so we felt it was better to leave him there with full time care and the right facilities.
we visited everyday. when we weren't there, the staff sent us regular updates about his condition which seemed mostly fine — he had regained the will to eat and was quite responsive, though he mostly sat in the corner of his cage over his heating pad during the day. we took his eating again as a good sign.
this morning however, the vets finally figured out what was wrong, and the prognosis was terrible. he was diagnosed with feline leukemia virus (abbr. felv) and blood parasites. having just one of those things would have been far more treatable, but both at the same time put my cat in a very tough spot. the vets were frank (though still sympathetic): prepare yourselves; he could collapse at any moment.
i was out of my house at this time and my dad was the only one at home, so he was the one who had to take my other two indoor cats to go get tested for felv as well. thankfully neither of them caught it. my orange cat, tato, was able to get vaccinated for it. my black cat, darkegg, tested barely positive for a different kind of viral infection (though he's asymptomatic) and is currently taking medicines for it. i have to take him back two weeks from now for another check-up. hopefully he tests negative next time so he can get vaccinated as well -- although he is already vaccinated and just needs a booster. he also suffered from an acute kidney injury last year and we took this opportunity to have him tested again to see if he could go back to his non-renal diet. some good news is that he can! his kidneys are now perfectly fine.
unfortunately the lord giveth and the lord taketh away, because once my other two cats had come home (mostly) healthy, we received a text from the vet. godfather had collapsed and they were already administering the first round of emergency medicine. my dad and i immediately left for the vet and by the time we got there, they had already used up all the doses of emergency medicine they could but he was no longer responsive. he had passed away.
they gave us a moment with him in a private room where my dad and i cried ourselves silly. we gave him some more pets and then said our goodbyes. we booked a funeral service for him, which we will be attending tomorrow morning. he was not even a year old.
my dad wanted to go grab a drink somewhere before going home to destress, so we decided to try the new matcha cafe that had just opened in our neighborhood. my dad took a selfie of the two of us and our faces were still puffy from sobbing. i think it's stupid that life has to go on even when you're grieving. and it's a strange feeling too — seeing other people be happy while you're mourning. what do you mean you're not also upset that my cat just died? if it were not an insane thing to do, i would've told everyone at the cafe about it and wallowed some more.
the matcha was really good though, at least.
i wish i had a more happy thing to post about after my month of absence, but this is all i've got right now. i'm sick of talking to doctors1.
i say this genuinely: i hope that you had a better saturday evening than i did.
my paternal grandfather was also recently confined in the hospital. he was discharged just yesterday, but this is the second time he's been confined this year. he's 87. i am trying really hard not to think about him dying, but my dad told me that him and his siblings have already started making arrangements for when he passes. as an another aside, i had lunch with my other grandfather the other day and asked him if he had anything coming up that he was looking forward to. he told me people his age don't make long term plans anymore and that made me deeply upset.↩