habits i'm trying to develop
lately, i think i've been feeling my frontal lobe develop. i've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and how i want to live it. not that i think i've wasted the past 23 years of my time on earth, but i think if i squeezed a little more ambition out of myself i could probably start living the romanticized, idealistic version of life i have in my head.
here are some changes i want to make that i am convinced will improve my quality of life.
1. sleeping & waking up at a reasonable time
back in college, i used to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 6am without an alarm everyday. i don't know what it is, but something about waking up early makes you feel like you have way more time in the day rather than staying up late—even if you've been awake for the same amount of time. when the pandemic happened, my sleeping pattern had reverted back to the mess it was in high school when i was spouting crap like "sleep is for the weak!". i had lost all sense of time. last year, i was finally able to successfully regulate my schedule to one that had me asleep at 11pm and awake at 7am which i think worked really well with major changes in my life. i felt good and productive.
unfortunately, i seem to cling to a poor sleep schedule whenever i feel horrible, so the past few months (thanks, holidays→new years + breakup depression) had me sleeping in and snoozing my alarm about 3 times give or take before i would actually get up. i am trying to return to the 11pm/7am schedule i had previously that made me feel a lot better about what i could reasonably achieve in a day.
2. eating better
i kind of eat whatever i want, which isn't a bad food philosophy, but it's not always very good for my body when i'm constantly giving into cravings1. i want to take better care of myself so i'm going to try make more of an effort to eat more nutritious food and maintain a healthy balance between different food groups. i'm not going to ban myself from eating things like sweets or snacks (i have a sweet tooth! sue me!), but i guess i'm just trying to limit how much and how often i eat these things. i definitely find myself feeling more satisfied after eating a bowl of soup vs. a bowl of cheetos, if you get what i mean.
3. exercising regularly
i approach exercise with an "i'll do it when i want to" mindset, which amounts to me exercising maybe twice a week at most. i was a lot more regular with it last year until i missed one day and have struggled to keep up since then. i think a big part of why i haven't been exercising is that waking up late just makes me skip it in its entirety. i'm not trying to become a gym bunny or anything, but i do want to try exercising at least 3-5 times a week and build a routine. consistent exercise does in fact feel great, despite what i used to tell myself long before i started exercising. keeping my body in shape also helps a lot when i go birdwatching in more hilly or montane areas as it is kind of embarrassing to start hyperventilating after walking up a 5 foot incline.
4. cooking more often
i'm not a bad chef in the sense that if you give me a recipe, i probably won't have too much trouble following it. while this is okay now because i'm still at home with my parents, i'm not too sure this will be sustainable when i eventually move out and/or live alone. i cannot survive on the same 3 food items i know how to cook. i want to be able to put something decent together without relying too much on my ipad sitting atop the kitchen counter with a recipe page open. having a pretty good understanding of cooking fundamentals will be enough for me. lately, i've gotten pretty good at making masala chai and honey butter toast which i feel is a pretty good step forward.
5. using social media with more intention
ever since i've started this blog i have been SO excited about personal, small internet! i spend hours going through neocities sites, reading other bearblogs, and looking at indie alternatives to mainstream platforms (i am particularly fond of status.cafe & piclog). i've grown a lot more fond of looking at posts & webpages from these communities over whatever algorithms try to feed me. things come across a lot more natural and genuine.
though i can't entirely abandon social media with most of my friends and family on there, i think i am ready to move on from aimlessly doomscrolling all day (oops, it's been 3 hours since i opened tiktok?) by consciously choosing when to get on instead of just opening it out of instinct/boredom and being aware of how long i've been online. to start, i've decided to not look at my phone until after i've had breakfast and passing the time during my meals by reading a book or some manga instead of scrolling timelines.
6. being kinder
i feel like i am constantly on a quest to be a good person. i've had some very kind friends tell me they think i am, going as far as comparing me to characters like madoka kaname or falin touden2, but i think i always have room to improve. lately i've specifically been thinking about being more in touch with my friends. i love them and i always want to know what they are up to! i have been thinking of recreating a pandemic discord server we used to have. having all of my friends in one place did a lot to get me through those times. i really appreciated interactions like watching movies together weekly or watching a livestream of somebody attempting to pull the latest genshin impact character. we have been hanging out a lot more in person lately though, and i think that's been really good for my mental health. being cooped up at home all the time felt a little suffocating. i am very grateful for my friends! they make me feel like i can jump over whatever hurdles life throws at me and only hope i make them feel similarly.
7. pursuing art for myself
i have an art account on twitter that i have wiped clean and came back to about 2 or 3 times now. i always get so anxious whenever my account gains enough traction because i feel like i have an audience i need to please. creating art with said audience in mind is exhausting and always leads to a crazy burnout that makes me disappear for at least half a year. i am a lot more motivated when i just draw stuff for myself. who cares if i've only drawn bust sketches for the past 5 days? i'm having fun! i'm also trying to be on platforms outside of twitter because i think i enjoy things more when i feel a sense of community. this is especially true for sites like toyhouse or artfight that have a more tight knit art community over something like twitter.
8. blogging
i am so glad i started blogging! i don't want to force myself to adhere to a schedule because just like running an art account, it will eventually exhaust me if i start feeling like writing is a chore. i'm also trying not to take my posts too seriously. i know i am not a writer. i just think the act of writing things down is very therapeutic and a good exercise for understanding myself better. it is a lot like preserving my memories via photos. a more sane, public notes app if you will. i'm very happy to be a part of this community. i'll be starting a birding blog with my friends soon, so i hope you'll stick around to check it out once it's up!
i hope sometime later in the year i make a follow-up post on this one about how i've managed to adopt these habits and how cool and awesome life is now. if not, that's okay. i am only 23. i've got my whole life ahead of me :)
until next time!