begone, boredom!
i don't think i've felt truly bored in a while and i genuinely believe that has to do with me finally deleting tiktok off my phone.
Are you ever bored, what do you do when you are feeling bored or are we even capable of feeling bored in this age of limitless digital entertainment?
i understand the idea that boredom these days must be impossible with such easy access to the internet and never ending feeds. there's no more scrolling to the bottom and/or the last post you saw, because modern algorithms are just a timeline refresh away from providing something new for you to look at.
i think my bad habit of endlessly scrolling on social media (though tiktok seems to have been the biggest culprit) actually produced boredom instead of stopping it. it's just such an easy way to turn your brain off and pass the time. but the thing was, even if i was constantly being fed something new, i don't think any of it ever actually stimulated me. i must have fried my brain receptors at some point because at most, a funny video might get a smile and loud exhale.
i hated it. i hated who i had become. i used to spend literal hours of my day just scrolling and consuming digital junk. i had no hobbies. it makes me cringe in shame when i think about those dark, medieval-esque years of mine. i knew i had to stop, so i quit cold turkey1. none of that screen time bullshit. i needed out and i needed my life back.
i don't think i get bored anymore.
i try to make an effort to spend my free time doing something now. at home, i'm the most free to do whatever i want. i watch movies snuggled up in bed with snacks almost everyday, read a book in the afternoon sun (or the dead of night because i just can't put it down), put on an album to sing along to in the shower, escape the real world for a bit in an rpg, try out a new recipe my brother saved for me, go down a wikipedia rabbithole, the works. outside, i'm hanging out with my friends or taking a very sweaty stroll around the city. even while waiting in line i just take out my ereader.
it feels so much better to live life like this โ more intentional, i guess. like really live my life. think about what i want to do. i hate to admit it, but filipino boomers told me so. kakakompyuter ko yan, eh.2
this is a submission to this month's bear carnival "boredom" being hosted by wintherblog :)
okay, okay. i'm embellishing this a little bit. i kept tiktok on my phone but i didn't use it except to sometimes answer the tiktok dms i got from my friends. at some point i stopped replying to them (sorry, guys!) and realized i no longer had the desire to open the app at all. that's when i deleted it from my phone.↩
literally translates to "that's what i get for using the computer", though this is a riff on the actual phrase "kakakompyuter mo yan" which means "that's what you get for using the computer", something most filipino zillennials have heard at least once for ignoring aspects of their daily life because they were too glued to their screen. side note, you should all check out my friend's internet art exhibit with the same name!↩