an unusual place to be
it’s kind of odd how good i’ve been doing lately; almost scary, even. i think i’ve spent most of my existence being kind of miserable, which in hindsight feels a little bit like a waste. i’ve dealt with plenty of sad and complicated situations (for a lot longer than i should have, really) throughout my life that have made most of my time on this earth leave something to be desired. even when things were going pretty alright externally, internally i always felt like there was this vague feeling of sadness looming over me—like maybe i didn't really deserve to be completely happy. at best, i was always just okay and nothing better.
but not this time…?
i think i can say i’m actually in a pretty good spot right now and it’s really weird being able to say so. it’s something i’m struggling to believe, even though i know it’s true. of course there are still some devils i don't really want to tango with yet, but i'll cross that bridge when i get there. for now, i'm having fun.
genuine contentment is an uncomfortable feeling but it’s very much welcome to stay for as long as it’d like. i hope you've been doing good too.
until next time!